Reminder to Ashley.

   This may not make sense to anyone but myself. But that doesn't really matter. I didn't write this for anyone but myself. The reality of death seams so very present in the world around me right now, and it saddens me just thinking about it. This really is all just a reminder to myself that God is in control, not me. 

     As I lay awake in bed one recent night I became restless and overwhelmed with everything that has been going on. I started to feel a deep sense of helplessness, thinking all I can do is pray.

   But then I remember by praying I am no longer powerless nor hopeless. I am praying to the almighty God who hears me, and will answer me. The answer may not be what I expected or what I thought to be best, but none the less the answer will come. And the answer shall be in perfect harmony with the will of God. Who am I to tell God what is best. Has He not proven Himself to be in complete control that I so quickly assume my ways are better then His? What is my knowledge of these present things when compared to the perfect true knowledge of God. Is not my limited knowledge from God Himself? So where does me knowing better than God fit into the picture? 

   You see even before the beginning of time God predestined the life span of everyone who was to live. Ones life can not be cut short, only lived to the fullest faster then we humans wish it to be. Who am I to want one more day with someone whom God has called home? How selfish, though understandably so, is it that I should desire somebody to stay any longer in this cursed and wicked world. But I myself should also look forward to the hope I have of heaven. That one day soon I too shall have no more tears or pain. How great the day will be when I get to see the Almighty face to face. How wonderful to be forever in the presence of the one who has always and will always love me.

I also am in love with this random song by the news boys. Its a great reminder of who God is.

Your Love Never Fail Lyrics 

Newsboys

Nothing can separate  

Even if I run away 

Your love never fails  

I know I still make mistakes  

You have new mercy for me everyday  

Cause Your love never fails Oh No No No  

You stay the same through the ages  

Your love never changes  

There may be pain in the night 

  But joy comes in the morning  

The wind is strong and the water's deep 

  But I'm not alone here in these open seas 

Cause Your love never fails  

The chasm is far too wide  

I never thought I'd reach the other side 

But Your love never fails Oh No Oh No...

Yeah You stay the same through the ages  

  Your love never changes  

There may be pain in the night  

But joy comes in the morning 

  And when the oceans rage

  I don't have to be afraid  

Because I know that You love me

  Your love never fails  

You make all things work together for my good 

(GOD you never fail me) 

You make all things work together for my good

  (No you never fail me)

  You stay the same through the age

s Your love never changes  

There may be pain in the night 

  But joy comes in the morning 

 And when the oceans rage 

  I don't have to be afraid 

  Because I know that You love me  

Your love never fails  

Cause Your love never fails

 

Passion for God?

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV)

As I'm waiting for an answer from God on if/ when/ how I'm going to India I read this verse! It made me think about how I'm not really seeking God with all my heart. There are other things I seam to set my heart on. I want people to like me. I want to be someone's special someone. I want to have an entertaining life. I want to go off on a grand adventure. But those things get in the way of seeking God with all my heart. This may sound silly but can I expect God to show me His big plans when I'm not whole heartily following the plans He was already given me? Stuff like obeying my parents and loving my enemy and neighbor. I should be faithful in the little things before I expect God to give me big things to be faithful in. It's good to have a passion but I have to realize God wants me to be a sevent in all parts of my life. The problem is, sometimes what God has in mind for me is not something I am passionate about. In fact sometime it's hard to believe God would want me to do something different then what I'm good at. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in doing what I think God would want me to do, that I don't even see how far I have distanced myself from God. I'll think im serving God to the best of my abilities, but if I don't know and walk with God on a personal level I can't really know for sure the plans He has for me. It's hard to know God if I don't spend very much time alone with him. If most of my walk with God happens inside a church I need to take a look at my priorities and passions. While meeting with other belivers is great, being a christian happens every day of the week, not just Sundays and wednesdays. Being a christian is a life style that should effect every part of my life. If I learn to be faithful in the little things, who knows what bigger things God will use me for. I need to learn to let go of things (sometimes even good things) and let God become my passion.

Fear and Doubt

     This Sunday in church the message was on the first part of John 11, the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead. Not only does this story show the power and providence of God, but there is much more to learn from it. Although Ive read this story before, I didn't just take things at face value this time. So as the story goes, Jesus-Healer of the Multitudes, hears that His good friend, Lazarus is sick.Yet He does not immediately go to heal him. After two days Jesus tells His disciples of His plans to go to Lazarus;  the same place where the Jews tried to kill Him. The disciples react in the same way most would, asking Him if He would really go back to a place where people wanted Him dead. (Not to mention that they weren't all to welcoming to His closest followers.) Sometimes I have the same reaction, thinking surely God wouldn't want me to do that; its crazy! But God had a plan for Jesus and has one for me and I can't think of a better place to be other than in His plan. Still oftentimes we don't really know what God is saying to us, and we aren't the only ones. The disciples, who walked with Jesus, didn't understand Him at times.  Like when Jesus said He was going to wake Lazarus up because he had fallen asleep. The disciples, mistaking Jesus for talking about normal sleep, couldn't figure out why He didn't want the sick man to get his rest. Then Jesus was like, no you got it all wrong, the man is dead! Oftentimes we don't like what God is doing or we don't understand His plan. Sometimes we want to run the other direction, but we must learn to have faith in God even when we don't want to follow His plan. I love what the next verses tell us doubting Thomas says; “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” I don't know if there is a bit of sarcasm in this or not, but the point is that is spite of the danger, they still know it is best to be with Jesus.
      And so they go to where the body was laid to rest. As soon as they get there Martha, the grieving sister of Lazarus, says something else we can learn from.  Martha says, "If you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” It's painful to lose anyone close to you and and Martha was no exception. She wished her brother would have gotten better, but she didn't loose her faith in God, and still she trusted in His plan. It's easy to trust in God when life is good and going your way, but life isn't always easy. Bad things happen and we get called to do hard things, but it's the faith and trust that last through the hard things that's worth working for.
      Another example can be taken from the people who were there to mourn.   Jesus asked them to remove the rock that was used to seal off Lazarus' tomb, a tomb that would now have the smell of death in it. Jesus could have told the rock itself to move, but again that wasn't the plan. He made an opportunity of faith for the people there; remove the stone or walk away. God gives us opportunity like that too. Sometimes it's something extreme that will test our faith to its limits, and sometimes it's as simple as praying for others. God doesn't NEED people to be missionaries; He gives us the opportunity to fulfill his plan. We should be like the people who in the end moved the stone so that God's power could be displayed. What if the people in the story wouldn't have moved the stone? Perhaps God wouldn't have raised the dead man, or maybe the people just would have given up the opportunity to be used by God. I may have fear and doubt, but am I willing to sit on the sidelines and not be used by God? Or will I let my faith take over, move myself out of the way and let God do something amazing? Some days I'm ready to give up praying for my lost family members, feeling hopeless, but who knows the plans of God? Maybe He will one day use me to reach them with His love? We should always be ready to drop everything and do what ever it is God is asking us to do, something easier said than done.