Hey this is me.

Life is a funny thing, day by day not much changes but looking back at how things were one year ago, everything seems to have changed. It is odd seeing the inward changes of who I am and was. I've made few big decisions about myself, yet I've changed so much by the many small (and often thoughtless) decisions I've made. Sure some change is from situations I had no control over, but I still decided to reacted in whatever way I did. And everything I did became a part of who I am resulting in an inevitable change. Now change isn't always bad, but if I make too many careless or outright bad decisions, a pattern is formed and soon that pattern is what my life conforms to. Sin easily creeps in and makes its self at home. At the end of 2012 I took some time to look at the person I had become. Honestly I didn't like a lot of that girl. I found someone whose heart was full of anger, frustration, jealousy and envy. I saw the many new struggles this year had brought for her including things like depression, fading self worth, college classes, worry, boyfriends and breakups. I saw the temptations this girl gave in to like, alcohol and a totally dishonoring attitude towards her parents. I looked at someone who had placed many idols before her one true God. In truth this girl didn't look someone who had given her life to God. I couldn't believe that girl was me. How did I become this person who was okay with all the things I saw? More importantly how could I go back to being someone so sold out for God that those things wouldn't happen again? Thankfully the bible had plenty to say to me, 2 Chr. 7:14 says "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." and 2 Tim. 2:22 is "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." It was verses like those and the help and prayer of the loving people around me that has got me going back in the right direction. I'm not saying I am now the perfect Christian, or that I don't still struggle with some of those things. But now I take it one day at a time and try to live my life for God. I can't say thank you enough times to the people who have been there for me this year, or to God who was wiling and ready to take me back into His arms.