Hey this is me.

Life is a funny thing, day by day not much changes but looking back at how things were one year ago, everything seems to have changed. It is odd seeing the inward changes of who I am and was. I've made few big decisions about myself, yet I've changed so much by the many small (and often thoughtless) decisions I've made. Sure some change is from situations I had no control over, but I still decided to reacted in whatever way I did. And everything I did became a part of who I am resulting in an inevitable change. Now change isn't always bad, but if I make too many careless or outright bad decisions, a pattern is formed and soon that pattern is what my life conforms to. Sin easily creeps in and makes its self at home. At the end of 2012 I took some time to look at the person I had become. Honestly I didn't like a lot of that girl. I found someone whose heart was full of anger, frustration, jealousy and envy. I saw the many new struggles this year had brought for her including things like depression, fading self worth, college classes, worry, boyfriends and breakups. I saw the temptations this girl gave in to like, alcohol and a totally dishonoring attitude towards her parents. I looked at someone who had placed many idols before her one true God. In truth this girl didn't look someone who had given her life to God. I couldn't believe that girl was me. How did I become this person who was okay with all the things I saw? More importantly how could I go back to being someone so sold out for God that those things wouldn't happen again? Thankfully the bible had plenty to say to me, 2 Chr. 7:14 says "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." and 2 Tim. 2:22 is "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." It was verses like those and the help and prayer of the loving people around me that has got me going back in the right direction. I'm not saying I am now the perfect Christian, or that I don't still struggle with some of those things. But now I take it one day at a time and try to live my life for God. I can't say thank you enough times to the people who have been there for me this year, or to God who was wiling and ready to take me back into His arms.

Reminder to Ashley.

   This may not make sense to anyone but myself. But that doesn't really matter. I didn't write this for anyone but myself. The reality of death seams so very present in the world around me right now, and it saddens me just thinking about it. This really is all just a reminder to myself that God is in control, not me. 

     As I lay awake in bed one recent night I became restless and overwhelmed with everything that has been going on. I started to feel a deep sense of helplessness, thinking all I can do is pray.

   But then I remember by praying I am no longer powerless nor hopeless. I am praying to the almighty God who hears me, and will answer me. The answer may not be what I expected or what I thought to be best, but none the less the answer will come. And the answer shall be in perfect harmony with the will of God. Who am I to tell God what is best. Has He not proven Himself to be in complete control that I so quickly assume my ways are better then His? What is my knowledge of these present things when compared to the perfect true knowledge of God. Is not my limited knowledge from God Himself? So where does me knowing better than God fit into the picture? 

   You see even before the beginning of time God predestined the life span of everyone who was to live. Ones life can not be cut short, only lived to the fullest faster then we humans wish it to be. Who am I to want one more day with someone whom God has called home? How selfish, though understandably so, is it that I should desire somebody to stay any longer in this cursed and wicked world. But I myself should also look forward to the hope I have of heaven. That one day soon I too shall have no more tears or pain. How great the day will be when I get to see the Almighty face to face. How wonderful to be forever in the presence of the one who has always and will always love me.

I also am in love with this random song by the news boys. Its a great reminder of who God is.

Your Love Never Fail Lyrics 

Newsboys

Nothing can separate  

Even if I run away 

Your love never fails  

I know I still make mistakes  

You have new mercy for me everyday  

Cause Your love never fails Oh No No No  

You stay the same through the ages  

Your love never changes  

There may be pain in the night 

  But joy comes in the morning  

The wind is strong and the water's deep 

  But I'm not alone here in these open seas 

Cause Your love never fails  

The chasm is far too wide  

I never thought I'd reach the other side 

But Your love never fails Oh No Oh No...

Yeah You stay the same through the ages  

  Your love never changes  

There may be pain in the night  

But joy comes in the morning 

  And when the oceans rage

  I don't have to be afraid  

Because I know that You love me

  Your love never fails  

You make all things work together for my good 

(GOD you never fail me) 

You make all things work together for my good

  (No you never fail me)

  You stay the same through the age

s Your love never changes  

There may be pain in the night 

  But joy comes in the morning 

 And when the oceans rage 

  I don't have to be afraid 

  Because I know that You love me  

Your love never fails  

Cause Your love never fails

 

Passion for God?

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV)

As I'm waiting for an answer from God on if/ when/ how I'm going to India I read this verse! It made me think about how I'm not really seeking God with all my heart. There are other things I seam to set my heart on. I want people to like me. I want to be someone's special someone. I want to have an entertaining life. I want to go off on a grand adventure. But those things get in the way of seeking God with all my heart. This may sound silly but can I expect God to show me His big plans when I'm not whole heartily following the plans He was already given me? Stuff like obeying my parents and loving my enemy and neighbor. I should be faithful in the little things before I expect God to give me big things to be faithful in. It's good to have a passion but I have to realize God wants me to be a sevent in all parts of my life. The problem is, sometimes what God has in mind for me is not something I am passionate about. In fact sometime it's hard to believe God would want me to do something different then what I'm good at. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in doing what I think God would want me to do, that I don't even see how far I have distanced myself from God. I'll think im serving God to the best of my abilities, but if I don't know and walk with God on a personal level I can't really know for sure the plans He has for me. It's hard to know God if I don't spend very much time alone with him. If most of my walk with God happens inside a church I need to take a look at my priorities and passions. While meeting with other belivers is great, being a christian happens every day of the week, not just Sundays and wednesdays. Being a christian is a life style that should effect every part of my life. If I learn to be faithful in the little things, who knows what bigger things God will use me for. I need to learn to let go of things (sometimes even good things) and let God become my passion.

Fear and Doubt

     This Sunday in church the message was on the first part of John 11, the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead. Not only does this story show the power and providence of God, but there is much more to learn from it. Although Ive read this story before, I didn't just take things at face value this time. So as the story goes, Jesus-Healer of the Multitudes, hears that His good friend, Lazarus is sick.Yet He does not immediately go to heal him. After two days Jesus tells His disciples of His plans to go to Lazarus;  the same place where the Jews tried to kill Him. The disciples react in the same way most would, asking Him if He would really go back to a place where people wanted Him dead. (Not to mention that they weren't all to welcoming to His closest followers.) Sometimes I have the same reaction, thinking surely God wouldn't want me to do that; its crazy! But God had a plan for Jesus and has one for me and I can't think of a better place to be other than in His plan. Still oftentimes we don't really know what God is saying to us, and we aren't the only ones. The disciples, who walked with Jesus, didn't understand Him at times.  Like when Jesus said He was going to wake Lazarus up because he had fallen asleep. The disciples, mistaking Jesus for talking about normal sleep, couldn't figure out why He didn't want the sick man to get his rest. Then Jesus was like, no you got it all wrong, the man is dead! Oftentimes we don't like what God is doing or we don't understand His plan. Sometimes we want to run the other direction, but we must learn to have faith in God even when we don't want to follow His plan. I love what the next verses tell us doubting Thomas says; “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” I don't know if there is a bit of sarcasm in this or not, but the point is that is spite of the danger, they still know it is best to be with Jesus.
      And so they go to where the body was laid to rest. As soon as they get there Martha, the grieving sister of Lazarus, says something else we can learn from.  Martha says, "If you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” It's painful to lose anyone close to you and and Martha was no exception. She wished her brother would have gotten better, but she didn't loose her faith in God, and still she trusted in His plan. It's easy to trust in God when life is good and going your way, but life isn't always easy. Bad things happen and we get called to do hard things, but it's the faith and trust that last through the hard things that's worth working for.
      Another example can be taken from the people who were there to mourn.   Jesus asked them to remove the rock that was used to seal off Lazarus' tomb, a tomb that would now have the smell of death in it. Jesus could have told the rock itself to move, but again that wasn't the plan. He made an opportunity of faith for the people there; remove the stone or walk away. God gives us opportunity like that too. Sometimes it's something extreme that will test our faith to its limits, and sometimes it's as simple as praying for others. God doesn't NEED people to be missionaries; He gives us the opportunity to fulfill his plan. We should be like the people who in the end moved the stone so that God's power could be displayed. What if the people in the story wouldn't have moved the stone? Perhaps God wouldn't have raised the dead man, or maybe the people just would have given up the opportunity to be used by God. I may have fear and doubt, but am I willing to sit on the sidelines and not be used by God? Or will I let my faith take over, move myself out of the way and let God do something amazing? Some days I'm ready to give up praying for my lost family members, feeling hopeless, but who knows the plans of God? Maybe He will one day use me to reach them with His love? We should always be ready to drop everything and do what ever it is God is asking us to do, something easier said than done.

They will know we are Christians by our love.

God's love for us.

1 John 4:10 – This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 Psalm 103:8  The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

How we are to love

1 John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

1 Peter 1:22 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart

1 John 4:12 – No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Luke 6:35  But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

What love looks like in our lives

 Luke 6:32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

1 Corinthians 16:14 Do everything in love. 

1 Corinthians 13:3 – If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:13 – And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 John 3:14 – We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

John 13:35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Commanded to love

John 15:12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

2 John 1:6 And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love
Luke 6:27 But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you

Matthew 7:13-23/ paul washer

WOW! Watch a video sermon from Paul Washer tonight at church and I felt like he was putting words to the things I've been thinking lately! It was such an eye opener. Matthew 7:14 say "But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." I think sometimes as Christians we forget the not just the gate is narrow but the road after the gate is narrow too. We are not just called to be saved as a one time thing then go back to living like the world. But it seams like churches in  America are full of people who pray one prayer then go back to being like the world. Later in Matthew 7 verse 21 it says “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." Is this us? Do we cry out to God then go back to doing what pleases ourselves? When i walk into church i want there to be a difference then when i am in the world. I asked a friend to come to church tonight and you wanna know why she said no? She was tired of people say they are Christians and acting completely different! How messed up is that? But still it happens all the time. I know many people who at church play the church game, but then they leave the building and change completely. We are not just Christians on Sundays and Wednesdays, but everyday of the week. People, not just ones at church, need to see Christ has changed our lives, we are no longer our old selves and dead to sin, but we are new people made alive through Christ. If you back up to verse 17 on through 20 It says "Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. ¹⁹ Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." The questing should not be am i recognizable by my fruits, but what is being recognized? There is no if, there is only good and bad fruits. Do you look like the world? Do you talk like the world? Do you fit in with the world? Do you enjoy the world and the things in it? Or do you stand out in the world, because you are different in Christ? Do you read your bible often? Do you seek Gods will above your own? These things are your Fruit that people are recognizing you by, but more important you should be seeing these things in your self. I'm not saying over night you are going to become perfect and never want anything in the world again, but if you profess to have been a christian for a few years or even longer and you are seeing no change in your life, then you have a problem. Good trees have good fruit and bad trees have bad fruit. I find it so sad the number of people who pray "the sinners prayer", only read their bible if and when they feel like it, go to church like a good little christian, yet have no change in their live. This is not what the Bible says we must to to be saved. If you read Romans 10:9-10 says "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved." You see it is not just an outward thing that makes you saved, it is the inward transformation. These two things go hand in hand. I pray that if it be his will that God would open the eyes of church people in America and show us how lost we really are.

Here is the link for the video sermon from Paul Washer.
http://youtu.be/3wX_BPopbKI
This will rock your world!

Exodus 20:3

“You shall have no other gods before Me. (Exodus 20:3 NKJV)
Pretty simple and clear when you first look at this verse. Yet when there is a lot to be said of this commandment. At first we might read this and think of the false gods of the worlds religions. But there's so much more to it. Lot of things fit into this one; money, friends, entertainment. Sin in and of it's self can become the god we serve. I think when it all comes down to a point, the god we too often serve is simply ourself. For the most part, from the time we wake up to the time our head hits the pillow at night we have a self centered focus. We do all kinds of thing to glorify ourself, yet we forget who the glory really belongs to.